Friday, February 03, 2006

To All the Girls I've Loved Before

UPDATED 2/6/06: Susan Natalie doubted my original lineup was complete (see comments) and jogged my memory... I added two more (starred) and filled in details for #6.

I wondered if I could sum up every first kiss I've ever had, in order, in just a few words. No offense to anyone here...

first kiss, open mouth, holy crap that was hot
second kiss, way too easy, don't think i want to be a man slut
third kiss, most erotic ever, hope her boyfriend doesn't walk in
fourth kiss, sweet and subtle, a nice summer fling
fifth kiss, on a dance floor, with the first girl i meet in L.A.
sixth kiss, said she wanted to see stars - I thought she meant celebrities
seventh kiss, freakaholic, didn't call me the next day
eighth kiss, a-list model type, my inexperience and clumsiness scared her away
ninth kiss, again on a dance floor, later claimed she was too old for me
tenth kiss, seemed like fun at the time, big shot producer
eleventh kiss, heavy connection, but she never saw it til much too late
twelfth kiss, spring break raver, my mtv credentials finally pay off
thirteenth kiss, during a lapdance, she asked for my number (and then she called...)
*fourteenth kiss, IM flirting with old friend led to pumpkin carving date, wouldn't let me take off her bra
*fifteenth kiss, said she'd had a crush on me, how could I refuse?
sixteenth kiss, attracted by erect nipples that made the A cups look much bigger
seventeenth kiss, never happened, damaged a friendship, but who's to blame?
eighteenth kiss, my favorite, a redhead... haven't kissed another since

(I dedicate this post to Helena, who's shared many of her hot first kisses with her readers)