Stick a fork in this blog.

I'm writing, but elsewhere.

I'm leaving my updates here:

www.davidmarkland.com

Another update on what the hell I've been writing.

A quick recap of some of my favorite recent entries at blogging.la:

First is a "series" I put together counting down the Top 25 Legends of Los Angeles - conspiracy theories, rumors, tall tales, urban legends, etc. About nine other writers contributed to the project, including some amazingly well researched and written entries on assorted legends, including the one about Jamie Lee Curtis being a hermaphrodite, that there is "earthquake weather", and that Scientology is based on Satanism. The entries were involved throughout the week, requiring interested readers to click back frequently to see what what was next on the list. The link above is my "guide" that provides links to all of the legends.

Speaking of legends, I discovered the whereabouts of legendary LA conman Fred Brito in New Mexico. Brito made the front page of the LA Times in 2005 after he was fired by UCLA officials, who he worked for as a fundraiser, after the discovered he'd been hired using a false name and a fabricated resume. He was also arrested on the spot for violating terms of his parole - Brito had previously spent twelve years in prison for assorted charges, including grand theft and embezzlement, and was required to disclose his criminal history to employers. As if this wasn't crazy enough, after the article appeared, Brito had already been hired by a local Red Cross chapter, again using a false name and resume, and it was a month after the LA Times article went to print before they discovered who he was. A couple weeks after finding out Brito had moved to New Mexico and speculating that he was probably doing the same thing there, he was, indeed, fired from working as a fundraiser at a non-profit for using a false name. (original entry here, second here).

I've been very happy with how my occasional, boringly titled "Question of the Week" series has been going, where I engage our readers in conversation on a myriad of topics relating to the city we live in. Fluff questions include asking what their best movie going experience has been, or what movie candy they thought LA theatres needed (we don't have Twizzler here - instead something called "Red Vines"). I also asked for a new definition of what a suburb is, for readers to let me know the name of their local gang, what their favorite local urban legend was (in prep for the series), and the one that received the most response was asking if street art helped encourage graffiti.

Other posts include an accusation that the LAPD sent me spam, tips for LA drivers on how to drive during the light dusting we got (they called it a "snowstorm"), a "scoop" that British Petroleum was building an "eco-friendly" gas station in LA, a critique of a local political blog that resulted in their head writer devoting a length post in return calling me an idiot, a reposting of an LAPD warning about a burglar wherein some readers responded by saying they'd recently been in a fender bender with the suspect, notification that February is the Federally recognized "Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month", a warning to people who've been installing train horns on their cars, some pics from my visit to a Barack Obama rally, and a rant against some tourists from Old Lyme who whined about the Oscars ruining their trip to Hollywood.

I'll update again in a couple month. For now, if you want to keep up with what I'm writing there, or to see the full rundown, check out this page.

School bans lunchroom talking so they can hear if students are choking

From the Associated Press (via Breitbart):

A Roman Catholic elementary school adopted new lunchroom rules this week requiring students to remain silent while eating. The move comes after three recent choking incidents in the cafeteria.

No one was hurt, but the principal of St. Rose of Lima School explained in a letter to parents that if the lunchroom is loud, staff members cannot hear a child choking.

To begin with, instead of reacting to three recent choking incidents by telling students to pipe down, why not instead teach the ankle biters on how to properly chew their meal?

Had the staff bothered to simply with the school nurse, or just had remedial knowledge of first aid, they'd also be aware like most Americans that if you can hear someone coughing or gagging, its pretty unlikely they're actually choken. In fact, rule of thumb is that if you're considering using the Heimlich maneuver on someone, don't dare if you can hear them making sounds - it means air is moving from their lungs.

Heck, even the folks at Lifetime know this:

» Know the signs that someone is choking: wheezing, inability to breathe or speak, turning blue, a frightened look, bulging veins.

Of course, this was a Catholic School...

The Highlight Reel

Thanks for still checking here. As stated many times before, all of my efforts have been spent writing for blogging.la. In the sidebar you'll see a link to my most recent posts, and is constantly updated.

Here's a few recent posts I've done over there that I'd like to get more people to check out:

Katy Sullivan - I've been posting video work from LA filmmaker who aren't at Sundance this week, including one about a local actress who recently started running even though she was born without legs.

Madge - A rant I typed up while at the doctors office with my girlfriend. In short, doctor's receptionists often suck.

All California Starbucks Required to Have Restrooms - A more in depth, journalistic piece, with possibly (cough:: likely) flawed facts. Thats the beauty of blogs though, as I'll be posting a follow up soon. If I was a real journalist, I wouldn't be allowed to make mistakes.

How To Survive Your First Day of Jury Duty - Some tips for virgins and the more experienced.

Metroblogging's 7 Gifts to the World - This is an epic listing of posts made at other Metroblogging sites around the world. I just wrote the briefs, which was an epic project into itself.

LA Comedy Club to Ban the N-Word - I live close to where Michael Richards called some black patrons "the name that white people shall not speak." This post is my take.

The rest of the items I post tend to be of local or immediate interest, but these are some maybe friends and family will appreciate. Check out the comment threads, where readers don't hesitate to correct or cheer me on.

Credibility, Part I

I've been working far too long on a larger post about credibility, relating the the Bush Admin, James Frey, Truthout.org, and bloggers in general. Alas, it always gets too long winded, so I'll keep it down to occasional brief posts...

I saw An Inconvenient Truth. I thought it was pretty good. I also followed up by surfing the net to back up the some of Gore's claims. My largest problem is his insistence, along with his supporters, that there's nothing to debate: global warming is created by humans, it will destroy the earth, and its up to us to stop this from happening.

I find it insulting when anyone says there's "nothing to debate", which discourages people from looking deeper into the issue. While I don't think this is a political tactic, as some right wingers insist, but is just Gore being overzealous with his research and beliefs.

However, I find this recent critique by the US Senate Committee on Evironment and Public Works to support Gore's view that humans can destroy the environment more than the pieces intent to partially discredit Gore.

Gore’s claim that global warming is causing the snows of Mt. Kilimanjaro to disappear has also been debunked by scientific reports. For example, a 2004 study in the journal Nature makes clear that Kilimanjaro is experiencing less snowfall because there’s less moisture in the air due to deforestation around Kilimanjaro.

In short, it isn't emissions that are altering the enviornment, but the chopping down of trees.

Why Bill O'Reilly Lost My Respect

I think I've mentioned this before - I used to respect Bill O'Reilly, even though I disagreed with him often, until this interview with Jeremy Glick. Any other news network would have fired O'Reilly for the way he treated this guest.

The video enough is bad alone, let alone O'Reilly later spinning/lying about what Glick said on the program:

"on this program, Glick said President [George W.] Bush and his father [former President George H.W. Bush] were responsible for his [Glick's] father's death. He said George W. Bush pulled off a coup to get elected. He implied the U.S.A. itself was a terrorist nation. And he called his father's death at the hands of an Al Qaeda "alleged assassination." He said America itself was responsible for the 9-11 attack because it is an imperialistic, aggressive nation. Glick was dismissed from The Factor because he was completely off the wall. Security actually had to take the guy out of the building, he was that out of control."

Glick never said the U.S. was a terrorist nation or even came close. And O'Reilly's view that Glick was a madman is rather ironic, considering Glick remains amazingly calm throughout, while O'Reilly appears to be about to jump across the table and launch a preemptive strike of his own on Glick.

Will Blog for My Soul

Once again, I pipe in to point out that I am, indeed, blogging quite a bit... albeit at blogging.la.

I recently added a tool bar on the right that offers an easy way to see my most recent posts there. The Los Angeles-centric, but sometimes still fun. And if they inspire you to come visit, all the better.

I'm particularly proud of my most recent entries, part of a series called "Six Six Six Days of Satan" that focus on Satanism in Los Angeles and the impending date of 6/6/06 -- which is tomorrow. In short, the Dark Lord will rise from the Abyss, spread Hellfire, destroy us all, make sweet love to Sadaam Hussein, and then have a latte.

That said, if the prophecies are all correct this will be my last post. So, hugs and kisses to everyone.

Video camera + pooper scooper = ???

Gene Garcia, another Group 101er from my team just made and posted this fun MasterCard spec commercial.
If you're a sucker for puppies in video like I am, you'll enjoy.

Priceless
Also, our group mentor, Nick Towle, recently invited me to help out on a reshoot for a short he made (actually, he invited my camera and I just tagged along). Some pics from the set can be viewed here... interesting to note that the reason some of shots look great is due to the amount of smoke (from a fog machine) that was used on set to give a natural filter to diffuse both the light and the camera lense...

Dear Richard Laymon fans...

A little over a year ago I adapted and shot a short film based on the Laymon short story "The Worshipper". This was actually supposed to be the first of three Laymon shorts I wanted to adapt for my director's reel, and I chose "The Worshipper" mainly because I knew I could shoot it with little or no budget (actually this was secondary - I really liked the story, too).

While I still have the footage, I've been struggling over the edit for the past year. As with most no budget films, sometimes crucial directorial errors are made - this short being no exception. Alas, trying to find a way to edit around some errors while still turning out a quality product befitting of the Laymon audience is a challenge.

I hope to have this finished in the next few months, and promise to let the Laymon fan sites have an exclusive first look.

In the meantime, I'll use this opportunity to push a couple of my other short films:

Asstoids (right click and "save as")- A commercial for a helpful new product. Just what are Asstoids? "They're for your ass."

Magic Wand - Find out what happens when a guy tries out a home pregnany test.

Choke - For anyone curious about Ouija boards, this is required viewing.

I've been eliminated.

I'll post the whole story in the next couple days, but in short one lucky shot under my front door wettened my feet, thus eliminating me from Street Wars.

In the meantime, CNN will be covering Street Wars tonight on The Situation Room at 7pm EST.

Oh, Bullocks...

If you're wondering what the hell I was talking about with Sumner Redstone coming after me, check out this article for a clue...

LA Times: "Assassin Game Is A Hit, Man"

In the meantime, I think I was a little paranoid at the time. A newsvan was parked outside my apartment and, really, who wouldn't think they were anything but assassins?

(if you're asked to log in to read the article, try:
login: latimesspam@morons.org
password: bugmenot
or click here for other options)

Comforting News If You're Considering Cutting Off Your Own Penis To Use As A Weapon

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works. "As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

Phew!

Although if it was MY penis it would have been an effective weapon and taken out an entire SWAT team, unlike this guy who was easily subdued with a tazer gun:

Chicago Sun Times: Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

PS: Check out the URL for this entry:

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

Sumner Redstone is after me...

But no, he will not get me.

Too Little, Too Late

My biggest problem with the US invading Iraq, isn't that we shouldn't have never ousted Sadaam, but that deceiving the public about the threat of WMDs was the wrong way to go. I know my right wing readers will say we weren't lied to, and more on this in a bit, but first I was to stress that I think Sadaam did need to be kicked out, and personally I would back removing almost any dictator or government that engages in genocide. Had we been honest about our reasons for removing Sadaam, it may have been a tougher sell to US citizens and some international allies, but I think our integrity would still remain, and our mission in Iraq would be going much smoother as a result. Most of the time, the Bush Admin has to defend itself against accused lies, instead of merely being an aggressor.

My personal story about supporting the war on Iraq. Like many, I was on the fence whether we should invade or not. There were countless reasons to remove Sadaam, even though many of the accused atrocities had happened long before 2003. But the moment it became about WMDs, and the UN was sending in inspectors who kept coming back saying they were not finding any evidence, I was skeptical... why make it rest on WMDs if an international investigation couldn't determine if they didn't exist? I was encouraged by the like of Colin Powell, who I respected and trusted. When he presented evidence that WMDs were being hidden around Iraq, I was open to the idea. But after studying the issue rigorously, online, on TV, and in print, only one thing eventually made me change my mind.

My Uncle Skip.

A few months prior to invasion I was visiting Toledo and having dinner with him and my brother and sisters. The topic came up about the sketchy intelligence that substantiated the existance of WMDs, and I asked Skip what he thought. His reply was along the lines of, "The President and his staff wouldn't go to war unless they were absolutely sure there were WMDs, and they probably have a lot more intelligence supporting this than what they're revealing to the public."

And with that, I was pro-war.

Now, I kick myself. There was no additional good info. The intel was all bad. Maybe this is why they say you shouldn't argue religion and politics with family...

(and the part that burns me is that the same right wingers who blame the bad intelligence on Clinton's handling of our spy agencies are the same right wingers who cling to hope that the intel wasn't bad, but just that the WMDs were moved...)

So, back to my main point, which is best spelled out by a New York Times article... (remember, the same pansy New York Times that was pro-war and was spreading the same bad WMD intelligence that the right wingers still believe)

A Bush Alarm: Urging U.S. to Shun Isolationism

excerpts:

The president who made pre-emption and going it alone the watchwords of his first term is quietly turning in a new direction, warning at every opportunity of the dangers of turning the nation inward and isolationist, and making the case for international engagement on issues from national security to global economics...

...To his critics, the internationalist approach is too little too late — the price Mr. Bush has paid for a foreign policy that seemed relentlessly focused on building defensive walls and hunting enemies. A search of the White House Web site confirms that Mr. Bush, who in the days before he took office kept the take-no-prisoners speeches of Teddy Roosevelt on a table at his ranch, made little mention of "globalization" for much of his first five years in office, even when European leaders brought it up.

Asked once, several years ago, about his aversion to the topic, one of his senior aides said Mr. Bush associated the word with "mushy Clintonianism."

"It ranks up there with 'nation-building,' " he added...

Bryan Adams: Loved by Islam

Here's one strike against Dubai and the UAE: they're genuinely excited by an upcoming concert by Bryan Adams. A Canadian.

However, I find it pretty damned telling that not only is this concert apparently selling out a Dubai stadium, but the sponsors include Virgin Megastores, the Hard Rock Cafe, and Hallmark greeting cards.

I know that the main stream media and especially the right wing blogs won't point this out, but the UAE is pretty damned Westernized, and not the hotbed of terrorist activity many would lead one to believe.

For further updates on whats happening in the UAE from a locals point of view, check in on Metroblogging Dubai now and again...

BarCamp?

I visited an interesting internet/computer convention/fest/thingy called BarCamp on Saturday night, mostly because I heard a bunch of reputable bloggers would be attending. It was also put together in part by Sean Bonner from blogging.la, and I thought it might be great material for my first vlog.

The concept and execution for BarCamp is fascinating, and the subject of the video I made about it you can find here. In short, a bunch of programmers, web designers, bloggers, and others with an interest in internet communications simply decide to meet up for a couple days and whip together a conference from the inside out. Anyone can present on whatever they want. And the whole thing is free.

I met Marc Brown, who created Buzznet (the site where I host my photos in my sidebar) and he made a great observation that BarCamp is a great way to show that Silicon Valley isn't the only center of the internets. In fact, also in attendance were folks who created such sites as Deviant Art, Weblogs, Inc., Technorati, Boing Boing, and more. The concentration of genius in the room was overwhelming. If only I was seeking a career in the field it would have been a networking bonanza. Nonetheless, as a mere "blogfucker" it was a very cool experience.

My video is far from ideal - lights were very, very low at the warehouse, and I arrived after the majority of attendees had left. Still, I think it at least partly answers what BarCamp is all about.

By the way...

I'm actually blogging frequently, but not here...

Keep an eye on blogging.la where I've been posting at least once every other day. (Its largely Los Angeles themed posts, so my out of town readers might be bored... )

My theory gets a boost on Drudge Report

So, yeah... my theory that Cheney will quit or get dumped by the Bush Admin so Condi RIce can become VP was given a little more credibility after the Drudge Report linked to this article:

Insight Magazine: Cheney seen retiring after midterm elections

Senior GOP sources envision the retirement of Mr. Cheney in 2007, months after the congressional elections. The sources said Mr. Cheney would be persuaded to step down as he becomes an increasing political liability to President Bush.

The sources reported a growing rift between the president and vice president as well as their staffs. They cited Mr. Cheney's failure to immediately tell the president of the accidental shooting of the vice president's hunting colleague earlier this month. The White House didn't learn of the incident until 18 hours later.

A few months ago I was out of town when I got a call from someone I'd hired on another event. An attendee at one of the events had a heart attack and died. I received this call within two hours of the incident as a casual heads up. In turn, I called the heads of our company.

18 hours to report to your boss, the President of United States, that you shot someone seems ridiculous. So ridiculous, I'm not certain if this is accurate. But if it is, anyone who doubts that the Cheney camp wasn't discussing how to spin the incident and likely cover-up portions of it are removed from the reality of not just politics, but the world. Cheney isn't an idiot, nor is he clumsy. The time gap in reporting this to the press or the President was not a mistake or lapse in judgement. Maybe the incident happened exactly as he's claimed... but his actions following the incident would lead me to believe he didn't want his staff or anyone to reveal details to anyone for a reason.

In the meantime, Bush needs a fall guy to blame everything that is tainting his Presidency, from Plame-gate to Halliburton ties and now this shooting. A vp slot filled by a single black woman, and one with qualifications to boot, could keep the GOP in the White House solidly for another four years, if not longer.

Interview with former cop, current hunter, Republican, fellow Markland, on the whole Cheney shooting

In press lingo, the Cheney shooting story certainly has legs. Not so much over the actual shooting than the VP's office repeated delays on informing the public, and perhaps even the White House, of critical details. This, of course, raises many questions and suspicions, and highlights the concerns that people opposed to the Bush Admin have been saying all along: its secretive to a fault. Why did the news of Cheney shooting a fellow hunter take more than 24 hours to reach the press, and certainly hours before even the President knew? What was the VPs office frantically trying to spin or cover up? Was Cheney under the influence of alcohol? Was their discussion of having someone else take fault for the shooting? And why was their another extended delay in reporting that the shooting victim, lawyer Harry M. Whittington? At worst, if Cheney was found to have been negligent, or under the influence of alcohol at the time of the shooting, he could be charged with manslaughter if Whittington dies as a result.

Trying to gain some insight into this story I contacted my Uncle Skip Markland, retired Toledo policeman and a State of Ohio Certified Hunter Safety Instructor. He's also a diehard Republican. While some good points, he did actually inadvertently call me a moron.

I'm not certain I agree that they were thinking about claiming someone else did it, but one never knows. Unfortunately, this is what you will be reading in some left-wing moronic blog site.

Like mine.

Besides that, though, he offers some great common sense perspective on the issue, and put me in my place with my stereotyping of hunters. Here's some extended excerpts:

To blame anyone other than the VP is inappropriate. One thing that aggravates me is the stance of our political spokepersons when they claim that it "isn't all that serious" and that it "happens all the time". The Hell it ain't serious and it does not happen all of the time. Factually , hunting accidents are very rare with only a few incidents in each state per year so compared with all of the time that sportsmen spend in the woods hunting, a hunting accident is a very rare occurrence. That's why hunting is one of the least dangerous outdoor activities compared to many others including tennis and bicycling. When they say it isn't a serious incident, what they are saying is that the victim's wounds are not life threatening. It's only sheer luck that the man wasn't killed and I suppose it would take that for the Washington spin meisters to consider it serious.

On the delayed public notification:

From my history as a public servant, it is a very serious and newsworthy incident. I believe they would have been better served to release the information immediately. Accidents happen and our VP obviously did not do this on purpose. I think they made a serious mistake by delaying the press release and added to their PR problems on this one. There was nothing to hide and it isn't something that's going to go away. Do a press release and let the political chips fall where they may. It would have been in the headlines for a couple days and everyone would have forgotten it by the next month, except David Lettermen and Jay Leno but that's their job.

On hunting mistakes:

Keep one thing in mind. . . although we can all criticize the other hunter who makes a mistake, it can happen to the best hunter out there including me or you if you ever take up the sport. None of us are immune from making mistakes as hard as we try to avoid them. In hunting, one of the biggest problems that can lead to accidents is "tunnel vision". You are focusing so hard on making the good shot that you ignore everything else. This shooting is a classic example of that. I have even found myself guilty of this but fortunately I have never shot anyone or come close. It just happens so I do sympathize with the VP and any other hunter who causes such an accident. I have seen many interviews with hunters who have shot someone accidentally and these were truly unfortunate accidents. The hunters were good and safe hunters for the most part but made a tragic and very regretable mistake. (That's why hunting accidents are generally not prosecuted as crimes as I have heard some of our liberal media morons suggesting be done today)

Isn't it the norm for hunters to go hunting carrying a cooler and a couple six packs? Isn't it likely Cheney was drinking, if not drunk, when he shot Whittington?

It is possible but let me say this. You, in suggesting this, are accepting a common stereotype and myth that all hunters are drunk or have been drinking every time they go afield. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many hunters drink. Many hunters do not drink. The ratio of drinkers vs. non-drinkers is nothing different that the general population. However, very few hunters go into the field after or while they are drinking alcohol. So when you ask "How many hunters go quail hunting without some beer?" My response is "very few." Although I and many of my hunting friends enjoy our beer, we do not go into the field after we have been drinking. Do some hunters go into the field after they have been drinking? Of course. It certainly happens but once again they are certainly in the minority. And yes, they are the morons that create and advance these unwarranted stereotypes. So, we will never know if the VP had been drinking or they were trying to cover up his involvement unless someone comes forward or other evidence proves it.

In closing:

By the way, I went grouse hunting last Friday and never had a beer all day. Imagine that!! I did not shoot anyone either.

Now for the next theory to add to my left wing moronic web site: will this result on Bush asking Cheney to resign so Condoleeza Rice can become the Vice President, and thus possibly cement the Republican hold of the White House for another term?

Dick Cheney Blows Cap In Attorney's Ass (or face and neck)

I know how horrific it is to laugh at someone else's misery, but I can't quit chuckling at Dick Cheney's accidental shooting of attorney Harry Whittington.

As a Constitutionalist (the political party I just made up, I think) I believe in the right to bear arms. And I have no problem with hunting at all.

But Cheney and the NRA Republicans who talk about how safe a sport hunting is, and that firearms are perfectly fine in trained hands, are going to have a hard time attacking gun control lobbyists after this.