Article of the Week: Easter Bunny martyred

Easter Bunny whipped at church show; some families upset

Is this the workings of the Church of the Sub Genius?

Regardless, I need to start going to church activities more often.

Testing a new interface called w.bloggar

Details can be found by clicking Here.

Dunno everything it will help with, but so far I know it lets text float around images, like this fancy shot I took at the 99cent Only Store today.

And I can easily do crap stuff like strike-thrus.

And I can change the font, with some limitations.

I can also center, justify, and screw with the text in a few other ways.

All for free.

Neat stuff.

My second ass and El Coyote.

My plan, right now, is that if I get one of these gigs I'll go to Coachella. At least I know that way I can pay for it, instead of having Claire charge it and then me paying it off. Damn I need a real credit card.

Claire wants to go to El Coyote again for lunch today. I think I'm the only Angeleno who hates that place. I love the atmososphere, but I prefer the taste from chewing on my nails than their meat. And their sauce... well... I now have a second ass reserved just to take care of the sauce.

But, Claire was nice enough to let me charge my computer power cable on her card last night, so I should go without complaining. Well, I'll go. A trip to El Coyote isn't complete without me making a comment about my second ass.

Today's Highlight: A double filet o' fish.

It was one of the bad energy days. Maybe it was because of the ten year anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide, or maybe it was because I began the day without a wholesome breakfast. Well, I never eat breakfast, unless you count a handful of Oreo's now and then.

Began the day with an interview on the touring boat thing, but it turned out that the job wouldn't be on the boat. This was good news, except that I first learned this after being told the boat would be going all the way down the Mississippi, and I mentioned how that was a dream trip of mine (although I've always wanted to do it with a canoe or cheap ass float boat, not an immense yacht). I was informed that the job would be doing leg work before the boat's arrival, setting up different events that the boat would be a backdrop for. Stuff like movie screenings, parties, and tours of the boat. Nothing difficult, nothing new. But somehow I felt totally intimidated during the interview. I hate feeling like I'm being tested, and I was. But I should have reminded myself that I really do know my shit, that I do know how to gauge how many portalets are needed for varying crowds, that this event was small beans in comparison to many others I've worked and I few I've run. Anyway, I felt like I was choking. This bad vibe comes over me, that permeates for the rest of the day.

I call my girl Claire after, and she informs me that she's been in cranky mood all day, but not to take it personally. A little later I call her from McDonalds, where I'm exciting to discover a "double filet o' fish sandwich", and she tells me that the unemployment insurance she filed for was declined, this after numerous phone calls and piles of paperwork to get it rolling. I'd been through it before, so wasn't surprised, but still made her day only worse.

Anyway, got home to discover that the plug to my laptop had broken. With what battery power I had left I scoured the net for places to get a replacement - everywhere it would cost $130, but if I ordered it online it would be only $60. Seems silly for the dumbest part of the computer, considering I could triple the memory for the same price. Anyway, before I run out to drop $130 on a replacement cord, the folks from the boat tour thing call me and I ask if I can come in for a second interview Tuesday morning. I'm shocked, but I say yes, of course.

So, the bad vibe was perhaps all due to the Kurt Cobain thing, or lack of breakfast. In the morning I'll need to make adjustments to avoid a repeat.

Hero of the Week

Kenny Hess, senior, Spanaway Lake High School

A Spanaway Lake High School senior has been banned from TV production assignments for the rest of the year because he altered the Pledge of Allegiance during a student-produced broadcast.

Way back in high school, our film/video class also did a morning broadcast for the classrooms throughout Lyme-Old Lyme High School. The typical format was that we read the school announcements, and would occasionally then show a video we'd made in class. Nothing that I'd call edgy. Since my inspirations were folks like David Letterman and Michael Moore, my contributions would be coverage of Richard Simmons visiting a local mall, or "man in the hall" interviews with kids late for class, or just skipping altogether. Of course, the one day I was off visiting my dad in Ohio is when the edgiest of videos was broadcast, and the plug was pulled. And it all had to do with corn.

After the morning announcements, the student talking head announced they had a special guest - the "lunch lady". The Lunch Lady was just another male student, in a bad wig, who's only reply to any question was another question: "Would you like some corn?"

Soon after her appearance, a complaint was lodged with the Principal that the Film and Video guys were making fun of the lunch ladies, who the complaining student was, I believe, related to. In reality, the guys weren't basing the character on anyone in particular. Trust me, no of us were THAT clever. But since they had supposedly offended someone, we weren't allowed to broadcast again for some indefinite period.

When I returned to the school I was pretty livid. Why didn't our film/video teacher stick up for us - instead, we got a lecture.

I think it was only a couple weeks before we were able to show videos and the announcements again. Sometime later, our teacher conceded that she, indeed, should have backed us up. But a little late to earn our respect or trust. I can only imagine that had we made a political statement in this climate, that we'd be in the same boat as Kenny Hess.

Instead, my life lesson in all that was just over corn.

I'm tempted to write the kid a letter of support. If he really wants to get into broadcasting, he should stick to his guns, and even sue the school. At the very least, he should end up interviewed on Headline News or Fox, and made some decent contacts along the way. He could likely land a decent internship also. He probably doesn't see it this way now, but he's a got a good foot in the door. And regardless, the kid has balls.

To Coachella, or not to Coachella?

I keep getting the itching to go to the 2004 Coachella Valley Music Festival.
I barely even knew what Coachella was until this year, when it was announced that the Pixies would be playing there - my second all time favorite band, second only to Pixies lead singer Black Francis' solo career as Frank Black. Anyway, I've seen Frank play around L.A. a few times, but before I even knew who they were, the Pixies had broken up. And so it would be pretty cool to see them live.
But, I hate large crowds. I mean, I love large crowds - if I'm the guy with the bullhorn, or managing the event. But I hate being a part of large crowds. If I'm going to see a band, I prefer clubs or smaller venues. I'd say this is part of me getting old, but, really, I've never liked crowds except while waiting in line for a movie opening night, or sporting events. Something about feeling like cattle.
Anyway, Coachella sounds like hell. Its a festival, so there aren't even seats. Its like a mini-Woodstock, I hear... well, people say its like Burning Man, but I barely know what thats all about, and it sounds like a mini-Woodstock.
And the concept of camping out in a field full of kids hopped up on ecstasty or stoned on the reefer sounds even less appealing.
But, for some twisted reason - for all these reasons I think I want to go and do it. For adventure's sake. And the Pixies.

Diet Coke Theft

Saw Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind at a Sunday matinee with Claire, over at the Arclight, the best damned theatre in the country. They have reserved seating, comfy seats, great sound. They don't let children into R rated films, and nobody gets in five minutes after the film starts. It sounds like a place for film snobs but, really, its always full of film buffs. The place also doesn't show ads for anything other than movies. Of course, it costs between $11 and $14 per movie, no matter when you see it.

Before the movie even begins Claire and I are cracking up over a trailer for the new Will Ferrell film. He's just one of those guys who could be doing Shakespeare seriously and it would still be funny. After the trailers finish, the lights dim, and two people who were walking in to find their seats bump right into each other, in front of the whole audience. A "had to be there" moment, but the whole theatre began to nervously laugh, and then erupted into full fledged howling. Well, not quite howling...

I'd gotten Claire a diet Coke that I'd sip from throughout the film, that we kept in the arm rest cup holder between us. At one point I'm digging the straw around the ice for whatever's left. A few minutes later I reach for the diet Coke, and its full again. I give it no thought. A moment later, I'm sucking around the ice again - and then realize I've been stealing soda from the woman sitting next to me - not Claire. I quickly return the diet Coke to her armrest. I decide to say nothing, but have a hard time staying silent when I hear the woman sucking around the ice herself, and later removing the lid to chew on some ice. In the meantime, I go to Claire's half full diet Coke.

----

Life update: I think I'm having to job interviews this week. One for THE COMPANY that I've been trying to work for for the past few months, the second for a job I saw on Craigs List for another tour production manager gig. After emailing my resume to the place late Friday, I received a quick response, saying they like my creds and wanted references. I sent those back right away. Another quick reply from the employer said thanks. I replied back, half kiddingly about how fast they were. When I told Claire about the job, and the banter, she said she knew the guy. Sheer coincidence. Someone she used to bartend with at Les Deux. She called him up right away, pumped me up, and now I have an interview next week. Supposedly this particular job may already be filled... but that might be okay. It would be touring on a boat along the East Coast, and up the Mississippi... I get seasick easy. But, would be an adventure.

This is the last time I'll discuss blogging in my blog...

I should have caught on by now, or maybe I did and just didn't want to accept it, or I'm just a weak bastard... but the best of the blogs do have a formula.

The bitches just write.

Content of the content doesn't matter so much as having content. Which is totally against everything I was ever taught about writing, that show don't tell crap (which I obviously never learned).

From here out I'm just gonna write whatever is happening in my fragile little mind... anything except about blogging.

Vampires and KGB agents

I posted this in the comments section at The Tall Guy's blog, after reading of his and Bunny McIntosh's adventures trying to get a gas station let them put gasoline into a 2 liter plastic soda bottle...

When I was younger and wished that vampires or KGB agents might try and get me, I had knives hidden around my bedroom, booby trapped boxes in my closet, and also had an Orangina bottle of gasoline in a desk drawer for any emergency Molotov cocktail needs.
Silly me. Wasn't long before my room smelled of gasoline.
The lid was on tight, but the gasoline had eaten through the glass bottle and was soaking into the wood desk.
Alas, I understand why there are unlawful containers.

Sigh, I miss the days when I believed in vampires and KGB agents.

To which another poster, known as The Midnight Mailman Show replied:

I believe in vampires and KGB agents. the only real way to kill one is with secret Moltov cocktails. that's some head you have there, kid, to be that prepared at such a young age.

I'd like to hire you, kid. I run a secret government spy organization that specifically targets vampires and KGB agents. We'd love to have you.

People are strange, when you're a stranger...

Would Eddie Blog?

Until I get a job, and a job of interest at that, maybe I need to steer my blog direction towards my eye on the news. I know a billion other biased people are doing it, so why not one clear thinker like me?

And, its hard to write about Offline Adventures when most of my time is spent being an internet junkie.

The most interesting thing to happen in the past week was bumping into Billy "Hobbit Pippin" Boyd at a party my friend Josh had. The bash was a book launch party for "Eddie Would Go", about one of the all time famous surfers, and Josh has the rights to turn it into a film. He somehow booked Tia Carrere to "host" the party, and the only other celebrities I spotted there was the dude who played Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington on Welcome Back Kotter, who starred in a movie Josh produced, and porn star Kara Knox. I bumped into some filmmaker friends of mine and hung with them for a while, but the place was getting packed, and I hate the club scene. Anyway, on my way out to say bye to Josh, I bumped into Hobbit Billy Boyd. I was tempted to ask for a pic, but figured he must be sick of that shit. I was more impressed that my friend Josh was able to get him to come.

A little background on Josh... we worked on The Usual Suspects together, both as office p.a.s. I wasn't hired until halfway through the shoot, because the office intern was fired after punching Josh for some reason. Its always a fun story to tell, especially to people who know Josh, because while he can be blunt, and sometimes rude, he's not the kind of guy you'd expect to get in a fight. Anyway, he's a great guy, and hasn't become too Hollywood, even after his recent stint as an effects producer on the Matrix sequels.

A little background on Tia Carrere... I'd known her since before I moved to L.A., mostly as one of the hotties on MacGyver. I somehow landed a housesitting gig for the producer of Waynes World 2 the moment I hit L.A., and as a thank you the producer took me to Jay Leno set, where I met Tia before she taped a segment for the movie. The producer's assistants were also trying to get me to rent Tia's guest house for $400 a month, but I'd also have to hand out flyers for her husbands clubs a few nights a week. Anyway, the same assistants warned me to be careful because Tia's husband was mafia, and I might not want to get involved in that scene. I regret saying no... imagine the tales... I could have been a Kato.

Anyway, those were the days when a blog of offline adventures would have made more sense. Now, I have a girlfriend who likes to cook, a comfy home, and not enough reason to get off my ass.

On the bright side, I've been keeping up with this blog. Hopefully I'll be able to transition the energy into more productive writing soon... I even a film idea that I'm currently calling ::: bloggers :::.

Of course, thats on top of a half dozen other ideas.


Article and video that made me crack up:

local6.com - News - Bored Boy Behind President Gets Nationwide Attention